A Guide to Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: 51 Ultra-Specific Phrases for Romance, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

This period marks a full decade since the phrase “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently unsuccessful endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the words this generation is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, mostly benign quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {